Day 27

The MIL* Restaurant


the previous reviews on this place were negative

but I don’t like to follow the crowd

and an employee named Gary was so positive

that another review was allowed


at the outset, the entrance was so very fake

but tried to appear inviting

under the veneer and halting handshake

the menu was already biting


the attention was sharp – waiters circled

around, intent on finding a fault

placing an order was the first hurdle

or at least that’s what we thought


I pulled Gary aside, and insisted he’d lied

hoping for influence behind the scenes

but he was so rapt with the cook’s bitter act

and just would not intervene


when the dinner we ordered finally came

it was a sad excuse for a meal

everything was off or had too much salt

not to mention what had congealed


all that was served, right down to dessert

simple enough – a serving of cake

was intended to sicken, to poison and hurt

give at least a night’s run – bellyache


for a great new review – they just did not care

there was swearing and there was shouting

I tore up the check, gave them negative stars

declared the evening shot, and the outing


sometimes I hear rumours, new customers go there

even after my review was published

starry-eyed or cowed into trying the fare

not following the crowd will go punished


names have been changed to protect the innocent

who unfortunately, was I

and Gary still works there but we are not friends

to this day he continues to lie.




Saffron – April 2020


* MIL = mother-in-law




Write a poem in the form of a review. But not a review of a book or a movie of a restaurant. Instead, I challenge you to write a poetic review of something that isn’t normally reviewed. For example, your mother-in-law, the moon, or the year 2020 (I think many of us have some thoughts on that one!)